decided to post this one in malay (mixed in a bit of english...)

currently listening to +44 - Baby, Come On.. teringat zaman sekolah.. zaman naive... zaman bebas.. zaman takde tanggungjawab.. zaman gila.. zaman penuh mimpi.. angan-angan.. fantasi.. cinta... persahabatan... kalau tak buat kerja pun siapa yang kisah.. cikgu memang marah.. lepas tu..? yup everybody seem to care very much for us.. care about our future... tapi kita (or is it just me) buat bodoh je...because somehow we know that what ever happen.. there's always yesterday.. even though yesterday just seem so far away... kita tak kisah orang lain bagi harapan kat kita... lantak la... my life is my life... cinta..?? haha.. mainan.... tiba-tiba tersedar.. am I such a loser those whole time..?? I have a lot of crushes.. but they all crushes over me.... mimpi, angan-angan, fantasi... everybody seems so eager to chase their fantasy... termasuk jugak aku... but everybody seems so together.. but I'm just there.. also chasing those dreams... but somehow i seem all alone.. until now.... (well buddies, friends.. people come and go... now that we don't have each other we realize how much we need each other)

now... still got those craziness, dreams, fantasies, love and friendship... but no more naive-ity.. extra responsibility... freedom... yeah we got those so called "freedom"... but I'm not feeling so free right now.... bila semua ada harapan di bahu ni.. bila tanggunjawab menjadi beban.. bila minat menjadi kerja, satu paksaan.. semua dah tak real lagi dah... crushes.. fuck ar crushes.. I don't think I'm capable to love anybody... dreams..?? haha.. juz a steps away... practically in my hands when suddenly it all become nightmares... suddenly new dream.. new fantasy yang memang jauh nak dicapai lahir... manusia.. (erk.. aku) ni memang bodoh kan..? tak tau nak bersyukur...

Bertambah teruk dah aku sekarang ni.. assignment tak hantar.. mulut tiap hari dah berasap.. duduk dalam bilik.. buang masa... WAKE UP DUDE..!!!!!!!!! mana pegi cita-cita kau yang kau megah kan sangat dulu... mana pegi azam... mana pegi cita-cita, angan-angan dan ntah ape kejadah lagi yang kau ade dulu... dah dapat dah apa yang kau nak.. kau nak buang mentah-mentah camtu je... nak menghabiskan duit mak bapak....?? ahhhhh.... bodoh la aku...!!

dah.. baik ambik wuduk.. solat... asar dah lama masuk... bertenang.. mintak petunjuk Allah... InsyaAllah semua settle... you don't just be on top just with a snap...